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Moving Forward After Experiencing A Loss

Losing someone close to you is perhaps the toughest thing in the world to come to terms with, but self-help options are there to make things easier. Coming to terms with grief can be a long and painful process, but with self-help and counselling you can get through it. Although it might seem impossible now, if you follow some of these self-help tips, you will find that your grief can be reduced.

Types of loss

There are many different types of loss, from the death of someone close to you, to something less obvious such as changing a job or leaving home. All of these things can cause deep personal pain, and take time to heal. Loss affects us all in different ways, and only you can know the pain you are feeling. However, there are ways you can help yourself to reduce your feelings of pain and loss:

Why it is important to let go of your pain

Although you can never fully get over some losses, hanging on to your pain will not help you. You have to realise that death is a part of life, and however much you are in pain, you cannot change the situation. You need to allow your emotions to come to the fore, so that you can work through them. If you just bury everything inside of you, your pain will eventually surface and will become even worse. It is important for your physical and emotional well being that you try and deal with your pain and move on with your life. Although that is easier said than done, there are self-help methods that can ease your emotional distress and help you work through your pain:

Self-Expression

One of the best self-help methods is to express yourself in different ways. During this difficult time, it is important that you express your feelings in as many ways as you can. One of the best ways to do this is to simply talk about the loss you have suffered, to others or simply to yourself. This will start the healing process. If you or others around you feel uncomfortable with talking about the situation, then try writing down your feelings. Keep a journal or diary of your thoughts and feelings, or write a letter to the person you have lost, detailing the things you never got to say to them. Try and be as honest as possible, and you will begin to see that the pain does not control you, that you control it.

In the times when your pain is at its worst, it is often useful to keep yourself occupied. You can do this by creating something in memory of your loss. Self-help is about remembrance, and finding comfort and happiness during tough times. By creating something in honour of the loss you have suffered, you are both doing something worthwhile, and coming to terms with what has happened.

Take care of yourself physically

It is important that you take care of your own body during this painful time. Your pain will only increase if you are neglect yourself. Even though it might be hard, getting enough sleep is perhaps the most important thing. Without sleep your body cannot function properly, and things always seem worse because you cannot think properly. Keep a regular routine, and try and relax before you go to sleep each night. Resting your body will aid your emotional recovery. Also, try and eat well, even if it’s not something you feel like doing. Take some exercise, and try and avoid things that will temporarily mask the pain like alcohol and medication. These substances will only delay the grieving process, and prolong your pain.

Take care of yourself emotionally

As well as taking care of yourself physically, you should also look at self-help techniques to take care of yourself emotionally. Although you may just want to cry and lock yourself away from the world, this is not the solution. You should try and do something that you enjoy, or that will make you feel happy or uplifted. Do not feel guilty about having fun, because although you have lost something or someone, you deserve to live your own life. It is amazing what laughter and enjoyment can do to help the grieving process.

It is also important that you forgive. When you lose someone, you often feeling angry or guilty at yourself or your loved one, for something that you didn’t do or that they didn’t do. It is important to forgive them, and to forgive yourself. One of the biggest obstacles to overcoming grief is hanging onto your guilt and anger. By forgiving yourself and your loved one for any past wrongs, you can start to move on with your life.

Plan ahead

Your pain may not be with you everyday, but significant dates or events can bring back your pain to you, even years after the event. To prevent this pain from becoming a problem, plan ahead, and be prepared for these events. Talk to your friends and family about things you can do on these specific days to help with your pain and to honour the person you have lost.

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